Rules

I will write here some rules that you have to agree on, and some advise.
I do not host GUYS!
Surfers, do not forget: you cost money and effort to the host: the effort starts BEFORE you arrive and AFTER you left. So be very kind to the host :).

The couch is for night time: do not come here, party all night and sleep during the day: I work from home, and I want to be alone while I work, so in day time, please go out between 9-10am, back home between 7-8pm, or go sit by the pool :).
CONNECT with me, BEFORE you arrive; best is by email!
Before I confirm your seat, I have to receive  a copy of your e>ticket.
I do not think it is too much to ask a reply within 24 hours, so the faster you reply, the better I can accommodate you.
My first rule is: no smokers, no drugs (there is still the dead penalty in Thailand for drugs), no criminal behavior.  Do not forget, we are all guests in this marvelous country :).
It is possible that you and me are not compatible : no problem , there are over 700 coaches available  in Bangkok :)
My neighbors and me, we do not like noisy people, so be quiet :)
You do not bring other people to my place, not even to my building. 
You can get the keys to my condo for a refundable deposit of 500 thb. I have only one spare set of keys, so if you want them, you better book them in advance.
I am a macrobiotic for over 35 years, so I eat very healthy.
You are on your won for your food:there are plenty of food stalls around ( I do not say it is edible :))in day time and in evening time: there is a huge seafood restaurant in front of my building, super fresh (they have aquariums) and I hear that their ostrich steak is very good too, they are only open for dinner .
And of course, we have a 7-11 open 24 hours a day, where you can buy snacks and sandwiches. 
If you break or loose something, you pay for it. If you make something dirty, you clean it.
If you want to cook at my place, please let me know in advance: there is a Max Value supermarket at about 700 meters from my place (open 24 hours a day), and there is a BIG C supermarket at about 2 km from my place (8am-11pm I think). Opposite the Big C is the Onnut Fresh Market, every day as from 8 am (I guess), vegetables, herbs, duck, fruits, fish, etc...
The sale of alcohol in Thailand is banned between 2pm and 5pm and again between midnight and 11am seven days a week, and the whole day during some bhuddist special holyday and during elections. This rule largely affects supermarkets and chain shops, such as 7-11 or Tops. It is common knowledge that the law is not always enforced at smaller, family-run shops, and surely not in my condo :).
I wont allow you to cook meat/pork in my kitchen, sorry.
I am a host on a limited budget, please be aware of that! :)
If you want air conditioning, I charge you 100 thb per night, to be paid in advance.
You ONLY can check in and check out, when I am home.
I have a bed and a coach in the living room, while I sleep in the master bedroom. I only have one bathroom (shower{hot/cold} and toilet) so this needs to be carefully planned :) Please do not take a shower for 20 minutes, that is really not needed, but please take a shower at least 2 times a day :).
At whatever time of the day you arrive, you have to take a shower before going to bed: I provide clean sheets, please respect those sheets :P.
If you book for one person, you come alone, or you won't get in.

2)Who is this guy?